Should I Be Here?

Two words:

Imposter Syndrome.

Landing an internship with Western Heads East in my first year was a very large personal accomplishment. It gives me the opportunity to interact with incredible women on an international level, a chance that I have never encountered before. If I’m being honest, I never thought that I would be chosen as an intern.

Along with this opportunity, and throughout all of university in general, I have had an overwhelming feeling that I’m not supposed to be here. Thoughts about how I do not deserve the opportunities that I have been given and there is someone else that would be far better at it. Endless words that I am unqualified, not smart enough, or will mess everything up constantly swarm my mind. Why would they hire me? How did I manage to pull this off? Will they see the truth soon? All of these questions kept me awake at night, especially before teaching an ESL lesson. I had no confidence in what I was creating or how I was presenting myself. I felt sick with worrying about whether I was doing justice for the Eagles group or if they even enjoyed my teaching. I can’t count the number of times where I nearly backed out, feeling like a failure for no legitimate reason at all.

This, my friends, is only a glimpse into how imposter syndrome affects me.


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